So what were things like for you - before you entered treatment?
Yeah. I originally moved to Vancouver and became quite addicted to heroin. And – basically used that to get off cocaine – Which doesn’t make a lot of sense - but at the time - it did.

I did that for probably 4 years. It progressed from a twenty dollar a day habit to a two hundred and forty dollar a day habit over the course of that time. I quit cold turkey on my own. I locked myself in my brother’s attic. I got very sick for about a month and then I was fine for probably two years.

Then I had an operation on my arm and when I came out of that they had put me on . . . I don’t know the exact technical name for it - a morphine drip. You’re allowed two doses per hour according to the machine and you can hit the button. Who ever you invented the machine - they didn’t calibrate it right - you could get one dose and in a half hour and then get another dose. Every hour I would hit it twice. So I would get a double dose. So basically it’s like hanging a steak in front of a dog’s nose - my guess anyways.

They let me go from the hospital and handed me a prescription for - I forget now - a substantial amount of morphine and Percodan and that sort of thing - and I went - basically not starting over - a lot of people think that when an addict quits and then they start over again - it like okay – now they have to start at the beginning and go to the end again. You don’t do that. Basically it takes you a couple of days to warm up - but you’re right back it in a really quick hurry.

So I went from not doing it to a full fledge junkie in a matter of about a week - and for probably little less than a year I went hard – as hard as I could go. There was a lady who worked at the hospital in Oshawa. I walked in and wanted to book in for the night. I had marks up and down my arms - my eyes were sucked back into my head.

She had known me prior - so she looked at me and said you are ill – you need to go somewhere - and she called detox got me in there. I told her that the only way I would go to detox is if I could get on methadone - because a week prior someone sold me part of their dose. I had taken it – at that time it got me high but not like – a heroin high – but it stopped me from being sick.

So I told the lady basically if you can get me into the methadone clinic - I will go to detox. So she set me up with an appointment in Oshawa and through that I got on methadone and went to detox. That was the beginning of where I am now.

And how were you using drugs at that time?
Oh – mainlining – injection - I used to pass out at the sight of a needle and very quickly got over that.

There is a line most people won’t cross - drug wise - and that is usually either a pipe or a needle - good that a lot of people won’t cross that - but once you cross that line - there really is no other way to do it. You know – you get the biggest bang for the buck if you do it that way. That’s how I have always done it.

And how did you decide on the methadone treatment program?
I didn’t think I could survive it literally. The first time – I was bed ridden – ill for at least two weeks – a pail beside the bed – because I couldn’t get out of bed to go to the bathroom – and I would just roll over and go to the bathroom. I couldn’t do that again there was no way.

I had known people on methadone - but for a long time it wasn’t an option – there was such a stigma attached it – not so much now but six and seven years – even longer ago – it had a lot of people – and even to this day a lot of people think you are trading one drug for another – its not so much like that - sure methadone is technically a drug – but I now have my life back. I got all these things back and I can function.

So the stigma kept you from this treatment?
Oh yeah, for a long time, for a long time.  Yeah. I didn’t want to trade in or trade up to a different drug. I was trying to become un-addicted and for the longest time. I thought it was just getting addicted to something else.

So, how has the treatment worked out for you?
Well, like I said I got my life back. I’ve managed up until - when I was getting high I never had a place – I never had my own place. I’ve always lived some where – but I’ve never had my own home.

Since I’ve been on the methadone program - it took a while initially - I didn’t just snap and everything was great. But I’ve managed to maintain a residence for more than two years. It’s not a big deal – but I have a cat now – but to me it is - its not – I don’t want to compare it to a child or anything like that - but I’m responsible for it. I actual pay bills now. I plan. I have goals. I plan for things now - where as before it was very much a day to day life.

So does taking methadone feel like before?
No – and I know that when and if I decide to no longer be on methadone - I know that the process - I’m not going to be left hanging sick and locked in my brothers attic.

Do you feel it is changing me in any way?
For the better – yeah – It’s allowing me to function as close to normal as – I’m comfortable doing. I’ve spent most of my life being a non conformist - I guess because I always thought the ‘rebel without a cause’ kind of deal - but it has given me the ability to live with some semblance of normality.

You’ve been clean four years. What else have you done?
Moving from a big city to a small town - played a real big part in that. Basically getting rid of everybody I knew - it sounds drastic and lonely and it is - but you can’t be addicted to heroine and hang around a heroine dealer - you know.

You can’t be addicted to food and spend the rest of your life sitting in McDonalds. So you have to get rid of everything that will trigger that addiction.  Obviously I’m not going to live in a bubble - but I gave up everyone – everybody I knew

Do you have any idea how this all got started?
I am of the school of thought that it is genetic - that’s just because my family are all addicts. My father’s an addict, my mother’s an addict, my brother’s an addict - and in various stages of recovery - or non recovery - every member has an addiction problem.

Almost every member of your family?
Yeah. In my blood family. Yeah, and its weird - I tell people that if you look at my baby pictures - there’s me crawling across the living room floor - and most people go ‘oh cute picture’ - and put it down - but if you look at the table behind me there is a jar with needles in it - and a cup with water so they can do a hit - a bag of weed - a big bong.

Most people don’t notice it they say ‘nice kid’. It is very odd - but yeah - I grew up – everything - my dad use to throw bags of pot at me and my brother while we were driving - this is at the age of eight - so we could roll him a joint. To me drugs were never not normal.

Is there anything that you would like to say to others out there? 
It’s not hopeless. It seems very hopeless - at the point that you're probably at - prior to coming to a place like this - or any place for that matter.

It seems very, very distant - and far away - and non-attainable - But it is – It’s very attainable – just walking through the door and asking for help really isn’t - That’s all it takes basically.

It’s not going to change in two minutes - but that first step in making that phone call - or walking through the front door - it puts you on the right path.