What is recovery?
Recovery is learning to enjoy life - without the use of alcohol or drugs that alter mind or mood. It is an approach to living - that shields us from the compulsion to use - and that offers alternate solutions to the issues life.

How does it work?
Recovery offers a set of principles - that guide the way in its approach to life. The Principles of Recovery provide direction for the choices that we make each day.

Recovery also offers alternate ways for us to respond to the challenges of our life.

The Ways of Recovery provide us with tools - that help us to heal - and to enjoy life on life’s terms.

So there are things to learn?
Yes - there is a great deal to learn - both about addiction and recovery.

Recovery is about learning to do things differently today. It is education plus action - with support along the way.

And recovery takes our life in a different direction than addiction?
Yes. Alcohol and drugs provide a quick way to change how I am feeling right now. But compulsive reliance on these substances leaves us demoralized in the end - and drained of personal energies.

There is no growth in addiction. It sabotages our best efforts - blinds us to our inner wisdom - and robs us of personal power.

Recovery offers a way of healing. Its ways cut through the nonsense in our head - and that blocks our access to the life within us. Recovery builds confidence in ability. Its ways do not waste - but empower.

But what if I need help right now? What if I want to stop using today?
Recovery provides clear direction to the challenges of early abstinence.

Early recovery requires strict boundaries - because the compulsion to use is easily triggered by people, places, feelings and things.

It requires us to learn - about the true nature of addiction - the Principles and Ways of Recovery.

And early recovery requires support - mutual support from others with experience in recovery - and at times - professional support and/or medical treatment.

Does recovery help with all of the other problems in an addicted person’s life?
Recovery does not say to tackle that huge mountain of problems - all at once right now.

Recovery says to set all that to the side for right now - and to take some time out to learn a new approach to life. It says to do things differently today - to give your self some time to heal - and to learn how to better face life on life’s terms - one day at a time.

Recovery offers an order and a timing to its steps - that is not so much driven by the conditions of the addicted person’s life - but by the realities of their health.

But by doing the things necessary for recovery - time heals - other issues settle out - and we grow in our ability to deal with what is left over - when the time is right and when it is necessary for us to do so.

It sounds like recovery asks a lot?
It’s not so much that recovery asks a lot - as much as it is that addiction takes a lot.

Addiction can eventually consume everything in a person’s life. That fact is obvious to anyone who has seen its results.

And addiction is not like a broken arm. Addiction sickens us in places that are core to our person. It distorts the way that we think - the way that we see things - the ways that we experience our self and our life.

Addiction turns our whole world upside down - or more correctly - outside in. Addiction tells us that there is nothing worthwhile inside of us. It tricks us to believe that life is consumed from the outside in - rather than enjoyed from the inside out. Things taken from outside of us are the supposed solution - while we rot on the inside. 

If recovery seems to require a lot - then you do not yet fully appreciate the depth of sickness that is addiction. It is denial of the true nature of addiction - that leads to denial of the need for recovery.

But I need to change myself as a person?
A traditional saying of recovery goes - The person I was would always need to use.

Another is - If I always do what I always did - I’ll always get what I always got.

These are both ways to say that addiction thrives on the vulnerabilities of our person - and that to recover from addiction requires change.

What is the connection between personality and addiction?
The interaction between personality and addiction is vital to understand. And yet it is this connection that most baffles us.

Addiction seems to affect us in ways that are deep to our sense of person - the way that we see and think - our relations with family - our priorities and goals for life.

At the same time - the peculiarities of our person - seem to hugely influence the course that addiction will take in our life. Some people even confuse this influence with the idea of an addictive personality - something which does not really exist.

So what is the nature of this connection?
Remember again - that during active addiction and early recovery - the compulsion pulls us in the direction of using. Any excuse will do - any conflict, stress or temptation - any opportunity that we allow the compulsion to take hold.

Well - it is our personal traits - the ways that we think and perceive the world about us - the way that we interact with others - the beliefs, assumptions and expectations that we bring into the day - that either set up us for a satisfying day - or that fill our day with conflict and stress.

It is not that certain personality traits are peculiar to a person with addiction. It is that the condition of addiction - is terribly sensitive - and easily triggered by the emotional and mental events that occur within us.

Personality quirks that are common to many - pose a grave risk to the person with addiction.

But it sounds frightening - to have to change my self?
Change is not always the big deal that it is made out to be. But you are correct - that fear is the issue. We want to stay the same - not because it is working well for us - but because we fear change.

Much of what I consider to be me - is not greatly to the core of who I am. And much of the stuff that floats through my head is also not really me. Many of the habits that we hold to are not helpful in living a satisfying life.

We hold to traits that set us up for conflict, stress and other damaging feelings. But if I am a person with the condition of addiction - to allow these traits to dominate my choices today - can pose a grave risk to my health and life.

It is not that one needs to be suddenly perfect. Recovery is a process of learning about our selves - of accepting who we are right now - and using the Principles of Recovery to rise above the problematic habits that we have acquired in life.

This is one of the reasons why recovery is an ongoing process. A traditional phrase refers to - Progress - not perfection.

Are there other ways that personality will influence addiction?
Yes - the likelihood that I will participate in recovery treatment - is deeply impacted by my personal tendencies.

How do you mean?
Pride is a good example. A person who is full of pride is less likely to ask for help - and less likely to accept it. They may be unwilling to do some of the things that are necessary for them to recover from their addiction. A prideful person may end up much sicker than someone with less pride - and who earlier accepts what it is that they need to do for their health.

Are there other examples?
There are many similar issues. Some people have an oppositional tendency to their personality. They want to do things their way - and do not learn well from the experience of others.

This is a huge problem for the person with addiction. Those who cannot rely on the experience of others - and who do not listen for what they need to hear - are bound to have a worse course of events - to make the same mistakes over and again.

Willingness to listen - and to do the things necessary for recovery - is the single greatest difference that distinguishes those who will recover from their addiction - from those who stay - or who die in their sickness.

Is this unique to the condition of addiction?
No - not at all. Two people are diagnosed with diabetes. One accepts the condition - listens to the suggestions of a health counselor - and makes change to their diet. The second person does not listen - or is unwilling to make changes. Which one is likely to have the better health in twenty years?

But it doesn’t take twenty years for the consequences of alcoholism or drug addiction to occur. A serious car accident can occur tonight - an overdose or an infection as a result of reckless behavior while intoxicated.

It is also no different than two men watching a football game. Both experience chest pain. One calls for help. The other waits to see the end of the game.

The first man puts his health first - ahead of his personal wish to see the game. The second man puts his wish to finish the game - ahead of the needs of his health.

If it turns out they’re both having a heart attack - one man may live to see another game - but the other may die today.

Okay. So how do I change - from one kind of person to the other?
Recovery is clear - that we do not need to concern our selves with this question. We just need to do things differently - today - according to the Principles and Ways of Recovery.

How does that change me?
The things that we do are the most effective ways to force change within our self.

Really?
Of course. Steal something today. Feel the guilt - or notice how fast your head turns - to justify what you have done. The things that we say and do impact directly on our feelings, thoughts and perceptions of our self.

But is that really a change in my person?
Steal something every day for two weeks - and see what happens. You will either feel the shame of being a thief - or you will convince your self of reasons why it is okay for you to steal. It will become easier each time that you do steal. Two weeks - and you will have become a thief. It will have become a part of your person.

So the things that I say and do - can also change me for the better?
Yes - exactly. If I talk honestly today - I feel a bit less weight on my shoulders. Talk honestly every day for two weeks - and feel the honor of recovery enter in to your life.

We come to feel the power - of facing truth - instead of hiding in fear. If I don’t avoid the truth out of fear - I am allowed to grow beyond my fear. Powerful change cannot help but occur.

It’s that simple?
Simple does not mean easy. It is not easy to face our fears - even if we see them for what they are. And to do things differently than we are accustomed takes effort.

When we step out of habit - feelings emerge from underneath. I say No to someone for the first time - and feel guilt inside. I stop using - and a whole world of feeling opens up.

A great deal of recovery is learning to face feeling - rather than running from it. The Ways of Recovery help us to sit with and to express our feeling.

You recommend meditation and prayer as part of recovery?
Addiction recovery offers a particular way to help others. It is not about telling them what they should do. And it is certainly not doing for them what they can better do for them selves.

Addiction recovery says that the best way to help others is to do what you need to do for your recovery - and to then pass this on to others. Show them what is possible - and tell them about the things that have worked.

Meditation and prayer work. SupportNet explains how.

Is support not a part of helping others in recovery?
Mutual support is fundamental to recovery.

But support in recovery means to share my experience in recovery - to conduct myself in a manner consistent with my recovery - and to show what is possible.

Lecturing - Giving advice - or doing for another what they can do for their self - do not follow from my understanding of the Principles and Ways of Recovery. I do not believe that these are ways helpful to most people in recovery.

How does one find support for their recovery?
Treatment programs - Twelve Step or other recovery support groups. Different programs use different languages - but it all amounts to a similar approach.

And how do I learn about the Principles and Ways of Recovery?
Any place that those in recovery meet - are places to learn about recovery. Those in recovery are always willing to talk of their experience - and of the things that they have done to recover.

SupportNet offers the Recovery Learning Series - a set of topics that provide the basic learnings for recovery from addiction. A goal of SupportNet is to explain these topics in understandable language - and to offer its resources in ways that are accessible to those who are interested to learn.

So I just learn to do things differently today?
Well - learn - and do the things necessary for recovery - one day at a time and every day that is necessary to keep recovery first in mind. We learn other ways - and come to enjoy them. We meet people in recovery - and find new friendships.

Many problems settle in time - and others do not seem so huge - as we grow in our ability to face life on life’s terms. We think that we stay the same. But we are changing all the time. If we just do things differently - and give our selves some time - we change for the better - and healing is allowed to occur.

I realize that is sounds too simple - but it is quite simple. People make it more complicated than it is - to justify their resistance to change. It is our fear - and the many places and ways that we try to hide - that make recovery difficult.

So why doesn’t everybody recover from addiction?
Addiction convinces people that there is no other way. They can’t see any hope to do things differently. For the addicted person - it is much easier to use than to not use - and to use is a much faster solution to how I feel right now - as long as I don’t consider the consequences.

The compulsion to use lingers and recurs - waiting for a day when we allow our personal issues to override our recovery. One day too many when we are so busy with life that we cannot attend to recovery group - one day too long holding on to resentment - or a day when we forget the true nature of our condition - and believe that just one won’t matter.

Most people do not see the ways that they set them selves up for failure. And if they don’t go to group - they rob them selves of this powerful opportunity - to be reminded of the things that we lose track of on our own.

Sometimes people will try very hard to get better - but they keep at it with the same old ways - and wonder why they end up in the same place over and again.

How is it possible to persist in recovery - as you say - one day at a time - over time?
Mutual support between those in recovery is vital. Personal inventory - as a guard against old habits - and a daily routine of recovery minders are each important. Talking with - and listening to others in recovery is hugely important.

SupportNet encourages the idea of a Personal Program of Recovery - to help us to sustain our recovery - during those times when it is easy to do so - and for those times when it is difficult. And its My Recovery pages allow SupportNet users to pass their experience on to others.

Some of this talk sounds almost spiritual in nature?
To step outside of personal habit is a spiritual awakening. To do things differently leads to a struggle inside - between the old and the new ways - the easy and the better. To let go of our confused ways is to better connect with the wisdom of our heart - to allow our selves to follow our sense of what is right - rather than to push our way through life.

The traditional steps of recovery are suggested exactly with the goal of inducing spiritual awakening - as a means of cutting through the troublesome nonsense in our personality - and allowing us to realize our healthy self.

Honesty, openness and willingness are ways that connect and heal us on the inside - ways that are less likely to lead to lives of conflict and stress. These ways provide a true power to our life - the power of standing firm - and of not running from our self.

Spiritual awakening allows us to relate more comfortably with the world as it truly is - and not as we need it to be - to compensate for the weaknesses of our person. It is a much easier way to live - and once experienced - it is a way that pulls us in a direction quite opposite to the compulsive pull of addiction.